Before/After: Maintenance plan

This is an excerpt from a Maintenance Plan written for a government client. The original writer was fired.

Before (in government-speak)

Selection of equipment is predicted on elimination of unnecessary or overlapping redundancies in function and optimal possible use of rack space within constraints of technical equipment specifications.

As reliable data on actual vs. planned sparing and maintenance become available, it may be desirable to provide in-house umbrella support for life cycle management; however, it is recommended that feasibility studies be performed prior to this decision to examine cost benefits of operation as a GOCO vs. totally owned system, with regards to maintenance in particular or to select an LTOP methodology for sparing and repairs.

After (in English)

We will select equipment that meets specifications and fits within the available rack space.

We will provide a spares list and maintenance plan.